There are two kinds of people in this world: male and female. Or should that be left-handed and right-handed?
Or should it be extroverts and introverts? By “extroverts” I don’t mean people who are always outward and happy and sociable…because I’m talking here about the ways people deal with their negativity. Do you externalize your negativity (hostility) or do you internalize it (self blame)?
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Having woken up this morning and viewed, with embarrassment, my previous “Kate Moss with her tits out” post from last night, I got to thinking – AKA making excuses for myself – about the kind of people we are, us on this web thingy.
If you have ever used Keyword Discovery for terms like “Hannah Montana”, “Taylor Swift”, “Kate Moss”, etc, you’ll know what I mean. The tool fills in the query for you once you begin typing it in the search field, based on the most popular queries. “Hannah Montana naked” is a bigggie. In fact, pretty much any name of a celebrity gal will bring that up as you type it in – and 99% of the time it is these queries (“naked”, “tits”, “ass”, “sex tapes”, etc) that account for 99% of the search terms used to find websites featuring these girls.
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Cop a load of this, fools:
Kate Moss Bouncing from darko666 on Vimeo.
You saw it here, firs- well, I nicked it off George Parker at Adscam/TheHorror! but you get my drift…
A few years ago my uncle, an avid fisherman, went to Ireland on a fishing trip. He discovered a lonely river, tucked deep in the woods back from a rarely-traveled road. The lush river indicated a rampant fish population but he couldn’t catch a thing. Then he bumped into some local lads and they revealed a precious secret.
“Don’t use them worms ya got there. Use these,” the Irish boy said, holding up a fat juicy slug between thumb and forefinger..”but whatever you do, don’t let the gamekeeper catch you. It’s illegal round ‘ere.”
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Web forums are these days the last refuge of a dying breed. They provide a haven-cum-price-to-pay like an addictive drug; the initial warmth of being able to really let go is often followed by a self-loathing. After all, people weren’t meant to sit on the same chair for six hours in a growing halo of stinking narcissistic mania, having made 109 posts that were maybe read by others in similar circumstances who essentially don’t give a fuck about you.
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What’s all this babble now, this talk of personalized search that has the SEOs smiling wryly? Hoping for a canceling out of the overall effect – for the big boys at least – by reshuffling the top five serps in a manner that is fair and corrupt, in the right kind of way. Goodle, that’s Google, used to remind me of a poodle. I considered making a poster of a poodle, one of those little white bastards that old women used to have, and that skinny narcissistic chicks now have, and putting it on the wall above my desk. That way, I could look at it as I modified meta tags, bought links, conned people into thinking my content was generated by someone who gave a shit, and smile, showing my cyber fangs and generally frightening the curly little fucker half to death. Ahhh, happy days in the Golden Age of SEO…
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Everyone’s talking about all the money you make when you “go viral”, about monetizing (there’s a buzzword from ’07 if there ever was one) your site, about the “funnel” and the huge potential there is in this “space”. People are “reaching out” (pardon me while I gargle with some thumb tacks) and exploring this “vertical” with a view to “getting on the front page of Digg” (pass me the cyanide) – Read the rest of this entry »